Meet Ed Baker

The sun was rising over the California hills, but Ed had been up for some time already. The smell of coffee filled his kitchen twice this morning. He made one cup for breakfast and one huge cup for the road. It's a mission to get there, an entire episode of The Sarah Silverman Podcast, a long phone call with his folks and a little time to get pumped for the surf. His favorite break is far from his house, far from anything considered accessible or easy to reach for someone living in Los Angeles, but worth every minute. The beauty of the surrounding nature, the difficulty of the climb down to the beach, and the remoteness of his favorite break all combine to make the journey worth it. Away from the crowds where he can be himself, out in the line up, not fighting off others or navigating tons of people while riding the wave. It makes the surf more enjoyable for him.

Picking up a surfboard

It was not a given that Ed would ever pick up a surfboard. For this Brooklyn kid growing up on the east coast, surfing was not on his radar at all, even though he grew up near the beach. He picked up a surfboard now and then in the nineties, but it wasn’t until one of his friends had to store a beauty of a board at his place that he got hooked. Hanging out with his friends at the beach almost every weekend and seeing them surfing made him think that he should bring out this board as well. Figuring out the surf on this beauty was a struggle and he and the board took some hard hits. Ed is not one to give up though, he loves a good challenge. After dinging the board several times and getting it fixed he finally realized that he should get one that is the proper size and shape for himself. The first thought was to get a custom-shaped board, but as he was debating with himself and scrolling through Craigslist one board stood out to him. The colors, the feeling, a beauty of a board grabbed his attention. There was no doubt in his mind, this was the one. From there he challenged himself, learning little by little.

Coming out

Ed’s loving eyes show that he really cares for those around him, he got that from his family. Growing up they were all close, and they still are. He had love and support from everyone around him, but not for himself. Most people that came out as queer back in the 80s and 90s faced tremendous stigma, hate, ignorance and had to fight to be able to live. The media was spreading the fear of getting infected by aids and increasing homophobia, and the gay community was being decimated by the AIDS epidemic. As a result, there were few role models to look towards for inspiration. It was scary, getting infected was like writing a death sentence, they made you believe, and socially it often could be. Kids were outed if they got diagnosed with HIV. Navigating his true feelings and coming to terms with himself was not an easy journey. Moving out to the west coast changed his life. He started working in media and soon realized that living as openly gay was a possibility. This was long before social media become popular, so he had never seen anyone that he could identify with. Even though some of his colleagues were queer he didn’t vibe with them, but it ignited him to have the freedom to be himself, to stop hiding who he was from everyone in his life. During the commercial breaks of X-files (a tv show), yes there was such a thing back in the 90s, he crafted a seven-page letter to his parents. Pouring his heart out, explaining to himself, and to them, who he was. He shared his feelings, his thoughts. It was honest, raw, and heartfelt. Thankfully, nothing but love and support came back to him from his family. Their love for him didn’t change. Growing into himself, living more honestly, he stopped caring about what everyone else thought of him. He wandered into the punk scene, he felt at home there, free, rebellious, the punk scene gave him the freedom to express himself and just have an all-around great time.

Out in the surf

Cis-heteronormative masculinity is the dominant voice in the surf culture. Ed doesn't really consider himself an athlete, even if he surfs more than ever, he surfs because he loves it. The beauty of nature is that it doesn't know who you are or what gender you are. The wave will either beat you up or you will be able to conquer it. The adrenalin, freedom, and connection with nature that he feels is the reason he keeps on surfing. There are constantly more people coming into the scene, and there will always be friendly people and some who are not. He has never faced any negativity in the line up for being gay, but in every encounter, he has an underlying awareness of people reacting negatively to him for just being himself. Not that he feels that he has to announce his orientation, but he knows that someone could assume by the sound of his voice. Altering his voice to fit in, however, is also out of the question. He’s long since embraced who he is and has no intention of pretending to be anything else.

Discovering the Queer surf community was amazing. Knowing that he doesn’t have to be aware of other people’s perceptions and reactions relieves a lot of pressure. The inclusive environment he found on the beach when the Queer surfers gather was amazing. No matter how experienced a surfer you are, everyone knows the feeling of getting tossed around by the waves, and in that way all are able to connect. There are not many places where queer people can just relax and be themselves, but in this community, Ed has found a place where he can truly be all that he is. The joy of riding a wave, getting cheered on by others, and the conversations and friendships developed at the beach is what it’s all about.

The days of wild weekend nights are over, now he loves spending time at home, with Nat his loving boyfriend since 2004, and their dog. But every weekend he gets up before sunrise, makes a lot of coffee, and does the long journey to his favorite break. Away from the crowds, where he connects, where nature continues to give him amazing experiences - from the perfect wave, to surfing with dolphins, to some beautiful friendships.